Who Needs Girls Anyway?
by CaramelSugarSweetie
Summary: Rigby likes Mordecai more than any girl. It's true.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Heeeeeeeeey ever1! Dis ya gurl CaramelSugarSweetie (but u kool kids can kall me Alissa if u wana!)  
Dis is my furst fick so make sir yall tell me what u think! (Also, I kno grammer, but I think some ways to spell things look koolre!)

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Mordecai mordesighed. He was sad. It was cuz he was looking at the coffe shop, but margaret didn't work their anymore.

"Im sorry dude." Rigby said. He touched Mordecai in a comforting way. He psyed again. this time, the mordesigh was even bigger. It was probably big enough to sign up for the military and fight for its country. But it wouldn't.

Rigby did not like seeing Mordecai sad. He would say its cuz there bros., but really it was _more_. He pet Mordecai's hand like it was a sad puppy, which Mordecai was like to Rigby.

"I am sad..." Mordecai mordesaid. He was indeed sad. It made Rigby sad.

"Let's go to the house man." Rigby said, tugging on Mordecai to move him. He decided to do something special for him at home. Hoever, Mordecai was to sad to move, and fell over on top of Rigby from his tugging. Rigby blushed cuz it was like a hugging.

"Sorry..." Mordecai said mordesadly. He thought he was making Rigby uncomfortable, and he was but not how he thought. Rigby was uncomfortable cuz of his fellings. Mordecai got up and followed Rigby home.

A/N:I kno its short but das cuz I was so exsited to get it out! Nexts chapter could be longer!


	2. Chapter 2:The house

A/N: Heeeeeeeeey ever1! Dis ya gurl CaramelSugarSweetie (but u kool kids can kall me Alissa if u wana!)

So I have a little srs talk. I read a few reviews. I didn't like it all, but! I will try neway with some better grammar n the story and maybe I can do better up here too? idk. just treye too enjoy. give me chanses.

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Mordecai and Rigby finale got back to the house. Nobody else was anywhere because Benson had a bad day and yelled so much and got caught by while yelling his yells so everyone had to go home. Especially Benson because yelling is bad to do especially too in his eyes.

Rigby began to pull Mordecai to there room.

"Mordecai lets go to our room." Rigby declaired consoleingly.

"Ok." Mordecai mordesaid mordesadly. They went to the room. Rigby had a plan. He was bean to hug Mordecai from behind.

"No!" Mordecai exclamated!* Mordecai didn't like hugs from not girls.

"Gasp!" CJ said as she walked into the room. She had been looking for Mordecai, because she saw him sad on the street. But now she was the one who sad, but not on the street. She was seeing the hug, and became mad as well as sad. "You are cheating with Rigby!" She yelled. She ran outside and became her storm form.

"No!" Mordecai said. He rushed after her. She was mad and the thunder was her anger and the rain was because she was sad. Mordecai tried to mordesay something, but she axeidently hit him with the thunder!

"No!" CJ said. She went to him, but it was too late.

"Why!?" Rigby said loudly. He saw what happened because he was running after Mordecai, and he went to him, but he was _dead._

"No." CJ said. She felt bad and became regular again. She cried, and then saw Death come on his motorcycle. If she were in a better mood maybe she would joke and call it a motorsicle because Death has a sicle but that was not right right now.

"Don't take him!" CJ yelled. Rigby was crying too much to say words at all.

"I have too!" Death said. CJ got mad again. She wanted to use her madness to fight him away! She became a storm again and cried hard and thundered everywhere. She heard him get swept up in a flood, and so she kept going, but she lost herself! When she looked back down she had drown the whole world!

"No!" She yelled again. Death was walking around to Mordecai again.

"Please save all of the people I did this especially save Mordecai!" She plead.

"Ok." He finally said. "But you have to be my girlfriend." He said.

"But you are married!" She said.

"Not anymore we had a lot of differences and now we are just friends it works better so you can be my girlfriend and I can bring them all back." He replied.

"Ok." She said. She had to.

Death brought back everyone.

"CJ you saved me!" Mordecai said felling love. But then CJ got on Death's bike and they drove away. Mordecai was...

Sad. again. Rigby hugged Mordecai again. He was still mad because Rigby hugs caused this and also Rigby was hugging Mordecai and Mordecai still didn't like boy hugs, but more sad than mad and so Mordecai cried on him and Rigby was sad that Mordecai was sad and mad and he was also mad at CJ.

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A/N:I tried to go longer this time, but school is in the waaaaaaaaaay. srry if you don't like because its short...idk the norm length for dis.

*I now not how that speling goes? I now its wrong tho.


	3. Chapter 3:End

mordecai buried his face into rigby as he creyed. he smeled somethin. somethin that made him sleppy.

Mordecai proceeded to immediately fall into unconciousness. This was what Rigby had wanted, as he had coated the back of his neck with chloroform moments ago. He picked up the large kitchen knife he had procured before leaving the house. He slowly ran the blade over Mordecai's feathers, Watching with interest as it smoothed what was usually a mess of plumage, pulling some with it. He stopped and waited a few moments. Simply watching the sleeping figure of his "friend" below him.

Rigby took the knife's thick tip and placed it on top of the palm of Mordecai's right wing. Soon, he began applying pressure, little by little, waiting for the flesh to give way to a crimson pool. Eventually, his force proved enough to cause the appearence of blood, but he was not yet satisfied. He continued to add force, never once lifting the blade from the bird, until it had gone completely through to the ground below. He repeated this process up the entirety of Mordecai's right arm. The knife collected small amounts of dirt, as Rigby made sure it was poked fully through to the other side of the male before him.

It was once Rigby had reached near the top of the arm that Mordecai began to stirr. The bird originally did not notice anything was wrong, but, as he regained conciousness, he noticed an unimaginable pain running through his right side. As the pain of reality grew worse upon him, he began to let out a scream. This was silenced immediately by an eager pair of lips.

"You're going to be mine forever." Said a voice he recognized as his raccoon companion. "I will never let you leave me."

Rigby moved the knife up to the right shoulder. This proved to be more difficult for a variety of reasons. The first obstacle was the more obvious presence of bone. The arm bones had been significantly smaller, and entirely avoidable, but this was something he would have to stab through. The second obstacle was the squirming of the young adult below him. Mordecai had lost enough blood, and was in enough pain, that he could no longer challenge Rigby, but still, animalistic instinct led him to fight for his already forfeit life. This animalistic instinct also created the third obstacle. His screams. Rigby silenced each of his friends shouts of agony with actions of endearment. His stabbing was strong and focused, but his kisses were gentle and passionate.

After what felt like hours for one and minutes for the other, the knife finally ran clean through the armpit. Rigby took a step back from his squirming friend for a moment to admire his work. If left like this his wounds would surely become infected if they hadn't already, and, if nothing was done immediately about his blood loss, he would surely die. The crimson lake ran all around the body's right side, and some spurts had made it to the left and center as well.

Mordecai had been praying to any kind god who would listen to end his suffering, but no such god existed for him. The smaller male sat on the stomach of the other, circling his knife around the right side of the chest.

"Would you like me to make it stop?" Rigby asked, taking up a tone of concern and sympathy. Mordecai had no energy left within him to validate even hearing the question. "I'll end you're pain. I love you so much."

Rigby knew he did not have time left to repeat his ritual on the other side of Mordecai's body, and so he let his lover off the hook, just this once, and stabbed into the chest, ending what had felt like eternal suffering.

Rigby made sure to keep the body well preserved, and always made sure Mordecai was "well loved." He did this for one reason only. Because Rigby likes Mordecai more than any girl. Its true.

Everyone you love will eventually die. Be it at your hands or someone else's

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Thanks for the review LionLover23. None of this would have been possible if I had not been inspired by your well thought out, and insightful criticism.


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